I don't know what is wrong with me at the moment, but everywhere I turn there are so many people announcing their pregnant, they've just given birth etc.
I can't take it anymore :( I am not saying I am not happy for them, because I am!! It is just that I see pictures of people's babies/children and it makes me realise that I should have an almost 4 year old wondering around learning new things and teaching them new things etc.
Sometimes, I am ok, I know that what happened would've ended badly which ever scenario I chose.
I think its now, now that I am getting older and still have all of these fears hanging over my shoulders that it is making things feel so much worse, it is hard to explain and I don't even understand things myself sometimes!!
I need to try and work past the fear, I need to try and talk about my problems with someone understanding, I need to try and be brave and stop being negative all the time, but that in itself is a big task and could probably be a massive challenge!!
Wish I knew what to do, how to cope with it all properly and try and move on...