Friday, 15 March 2013

It's All Coming Back To Me...

I keep coming over all panicky and sick, its a weird feeling.. Especially remembering/realizing that this time 3 years ago I was fighting the pains in my abdomen, trying to sleep but couldn't because of the pain!!

When my tube ruptured, it started around 11pm on the 14th March 2010 (Mothers Day) but I never did anything about the pain until 7-8am on the 15th March 2010, that was when I admitted defeat and decided that it would be best for me to go to hospital, worst part was the only way I could get back there was in another ambulance.

All these memories keep flooding back to me, and I am not sure how I am 'ok'. I am not totally sure on how I should feel at the moment, except the only thing I can express is that I have a weird feeling in my tummy and I guess I kinda feel sick? Not sure, its a weird feeling that is very hard to express, let alone try and explain out in this blog post.

I guess, apart of me is still wondering HOW I managed to cope and deal with the problems and the pain that I experienced that day, and every day since. So much happened for the first 3-4 months of 2010 and it will always play on my mind, especially with the 'what ifs' :(

At the moment, it is 12:35am and all I can see in the back of my mind is me trying to get comfortable and trying so hard to stop the pain in my tummy.. The strange thing is, that I can see it in the back of mind, which makes it feel like everything that I went through was a dream, when it wasn't it was real life, and it only happened 3 years ago, but feels and seems like a lifetime ago..

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