Thursday, 24 February 2011

Wrong again..

This is a follow up from my last blog i wrote a couple of weeks ago,
in thinking i might be pregnant again...

well i am not!

Yesterday (22nd)
I started what i think is my period yesterday, i have been in a bit of discomfort and feeling disorientated etc.
But have dealt with it, i was going to go to the doctors yesterday and then was going to go today instead, but i do not wish to know if i am experiencing a miscarriage or not, because of what i went through last year has kind of put me off a little bit. even though i know IF i am experiencing another ectopic it could take my life - as i did almost loose it on the operating table!
But still, its something you do not wish to know, sometimes! i already lost one baby, i dont want to know if i am in the process of loosing yet another..
Only thing that is sort of keeping me "sane" is the thought of my baby angel flying high and free amongst the clouds with other special angel babies that God had other plans for etc.

Admittedly, i am gutted i have come on my period, again! i would do anything to have my own family, without having to mother my partners other kids with previous relationships, not that i am saying i dont like them or want to be around them, just it isnt the same.. i guess..

Suppose, only time will tell...

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