If Things Were Different..

If things were different you would be here now
If things were different i would be holding you close
If things were different you would be 4months old..
If things were different i would be watching you grow
If things were different my life would have some meaning
If things were different i would had known if you was my baby boy or my baby girl

People say "things happen for a reason" ...Still dont know what MY reason was...

Still, in some respects i cant complain a great deal, because i nearly lost my life, although sometimes i wish i had lost it, all because of what i had to go through all the pain, the blood tests internal scans and exams everything.. i had all that done for nothing - well seems to feel like nothing!
No one has helped me nor have they offered, when i woke up in hospital after my operation my mum, dad sister and her boyfriend and my uncle was there.. which was great!!
But no one offered any kind of support whilst i was sitting in the ward, except for a woman whom was leaving that day who offered me her tv card so i could watch telly..
I just cant get over it, what did i ever do that was so wrong to result into this...??

Still, i am never gonna find out the answer now!


I just hope i never have to go through that, again!