Thursday, 4 October 2012

My Heart Aches..

All I can feel is jealousy...

I am jealous that many people (including my sister) are pregnant, and not me :( it seriously sucks..
Don't get me wrong, I love my sister, but her and my mum seem to be getting this bond and doing things together and what not, and I don't have that kind of relationship with my mum anymore..
Really makes me sad because all these things I am doing with my sister now, I should had done with my mum and sister back then - instead of being in and out of hospital.

Really want to do something about this, but since having that Colposcopy & Treatment for the last 3 months since I have been bleeding on and off - not to mention I wasn't allowed to have sex for the last 3 months lol
But I am also concerned now because I was also warned that I would be at risk of pre-term labour because of the procedure I had.. Not to mention that I have 1 tube left so sitting here thinking is it worth putting my life at risk makes it that little bit harder - and scarier

I'd give anything to have my own baby, my own child, but at the fear of risking my own life to go through it all again I am not sure is worth it.
Have seen and read so many people's success stories of how they managed to conceive again after having 1 tube, some stories not so good!
Really wish I could have a baby, and have all these amazing experiences.. Maybe one day I might get my wish :)

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