We're almost at the end of September which means that October isn't far behind it.
October 6th would've been my due date, which means that I should have a happy 4 year old bouncing around wishing didn't have to grow up.
It is a shame when reality hits and you remember that you don't have every milestone to hit and get through.. Never thought that seeing my nephew grow would hurt so much.
I love him to the end of the universe but he does remind me of things that I have and am missing out on from having lost my child in such a graphic way.
Obviously, there was no happy ending to come from having my ectopic pregnancy. I still don't know why this happened, and why it was ME this happened too :( makes me sad and sick that there are people out there having children to trap men, abusing kids or even worse.
I am always wishing and hoping that one day, just one day I can have my own miracle and not feel like I am missing out or left out from being a mum.
Scares me even more when that sudden realization is, is that I am almost 30
Heart aches and breaks a little more each day, but I paint a smile on my face because it is easier pretending to be OK than it is to talk about it.
No comments:
Post a Comment