Yep that's right, its almost Christmas.. I have not been feeling it again this year.. Mainly because last year it was pants and the year before it wasn't so bad, better than the year before when my parents had split up and tried to have a "good" Christmas for the sake of us 'kids' - Me, My Sister & Brother, but that was a disaster in the end..
Last year, I didn't do anything special and I don't really intend to this year. I am yet to hear from my parents about what's going to happen, rather hide away and be on my own, if I am honest.
It just really sucks that this year would've been my Angel's 3rd Christmas - if He/She didn't grow in my Fallopian tube and rupture in March 2010.
I think of all the children getting to spend with their parents, or even new born babies experiencing their first Christmas, like for instant, my Godson, this is going to be his first ever Christmas, and he is lucky to experience this because when he was born he was born with the cord wrapped around his neck, and if he had it wrapped around one more time he could've died :( so he is very special..
I guess I just think of it as another year without someone, the last 22 years it was my sister because she was stillborn 14th September 1990, and then in March 1996 it was my nan's turn to go due to Breast Cancer..
In a way, I am kind of used to it - to put it harshly, just wish that things didn't end the way they did though, it would be awesome if everyone was still here!! But hey, whats the harm in wishing?
I do wish everyone a gentle merry christmas, I know a lot of my followers are in the same position as me with loosing loved ones and missing them around Christmas time, a time for families to come together and be 'merry'
<3 p="p">
No comments:
Post a Comment