My Ectopic Pregnancy

This is the picture to try and show the size of what i had removed the day i had the surgery, thought it would more realisitc than having a 50p instead lol
I estimated that the size would had been an inch and a half at least..
I still keep thinking about that day, but it just seems to hurt so much because it kinda feels like a dream?
As if it never happened, but i know it did because i do actually lay in bed or lay in the bath and i rub my tummy .. and talk to myself!
I even rub the scars on my bikini line, because they still often hurt from time to time - just a sort of like aching feeling when i am thinking about it.. nothing major.. well it cant really be major, it has been now over 7 months since February/March time..!
Still cant believe it happened, and still cant believe i actually managed to learn i was pregnant!! even if it was for 12 short weeks!!
I know alot of people say its silly for "dragging it on" or thinking about it constantly, but it difficult this time, because i know i was pregnant! :(
I am pretty sure i have had a couple of miscarriages before, but never said anything to anyone.. it aint like anyone could stop it from happening, is it!?
Still, least i go to bed knowing that my angel is always with me, living inside my heart :)