October 2010

Today is the 8th of October, and i would be due right about now, well the estimated due date was the 6th October! - but you know what the internet is like!! lol

Ok, so not a great deal has changed in the last few months when i last left a post, except the thought of what would happen in the long run..
Nothing much has happened since this, ok it has been 6months now, but nothing will happen, and i don't think it ever will!
For 8 years i had convinced myself that i was unable to have children, was too scared to find out if the answer was a yes or a no.
And for what to have happened in March kind of made me convinced again now that i cannot have kids... which is going to have to be something i am going to have to accept :(

I am still down and depressed about all of this - as to be expected :( but there is not a great deal i can do to change this, except i am back at stage one in getting myself in general back in order again with my mental health! but at least that is a start, and is also another reason to which i am so messed up again...!!

Who knows, maybe one day i might get lucky? but until then...