Tuesday 11 May 2010

The 8 Week Mark..

Well i am now on the 8th week mark from my operation, and i am still feeling pretty much the same as i have done now since the op.
I am very confused, questioning everything and genuinely in some ways worrying myself into thinking how or what could have caused this.
Most common cause (apparently) is an STD - but as far as i am aware i do not sleep around, and i have only slept with 4 people.. however all the people i was dating was cheating or have cheated - so who knows!
Maybe i shouldnt had been such a dick and done checks etc. when it started happening, maybe that way i could have prevented this?
Still, whats done is done, i guess.. but now its getting to the point in what do i want to do now, what will happen, i do not have anyone to talk to about all of this, due to having to reschedual appointments with Kevin because I was in hospital and ill from the injections etc. - boy do i wish i had gone regardless of how much pain i was in! *grr*
Nothing has been solved, talked about nor resolved - i wish i had people who went through the same as me, to come forward and help me get through this and learn from their Ectopic to give me hope and strength that i will get a second chance etc.
The last couple of days i have been through a website on yahoo called Answers - and i have found many many many questions talking about their experiences, or working out if it is ectopic etc. and i never ever really thought that Ectopic was so known, i had only ever heard about it once, and i believe that was few years ago with some girl on Casulty having one.. so i was bit shocked.
Unfortunatly, one person has come forward and left me an answer about my chances of having another one - and said she would talk to me about her experiences with me, so that would be nice, if she does - but i am not going to push it really, becuase some times it can be a difficult subject to talk about.